After everything that has happened… I realized…
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
In a man’s life, there will come a time that he would learn to let go of the things that make him happy.. Not because he does not want it or deserve it anymore.. But because it is time to do what is right.. especially if the things that make him happy might hurt other people in the process.. Or he might even hurt himself..
I do not expect anything in return in everything that I have done for you. Especially in the part that I have Loved you. My only wish is that you will always become happy in everything you do. To see you smile..
That’s why I am just sitting
here in this corner of the earth. waiting for you to pass by. Hoping
that I would catch a glimpse, deserve a glance, or for you to smile at
me and ask if I’m OK. Only that and I will be contented. Because ever since this feeling has begun, I already accepted the truth. The fact that I will never ever have you and that you will never ever love me. I needn’t have to ask myself why. I just accepted the fact wholeheartedly…
But for such a long time, I kept wondering why the love that I have felt for you stayed here in my heart? Why am I still holding on on false hopes?
Why do i keep embracing blind truths? Until now, I’m still the one
whose stupid in front of everyone. Especially in front of you. I know this is wrong. But I have developed a love for being wrong.
I am happy in each and every moment I feel these wrong feelings. If I
keep on embracing things that leaves me agony, what place in this world
will I ever be?
Who do these wrong things tend to give me so
much happiness? Even if I try to escape, it seems like it still
struggles to bind me within itself. And the more I set myself loose, the more it hurts to break free.
I do not expect anyone to help me. It didn’t even entered my mind that
someday there will be a hand to reach me and save me from this drowning
pain. I do not expect that there is still Hope for this. Because it was the first thing that led me to this pain and broke me. False Hopes…
